Prayer is Powerful

 

 

This last week has truly been one for the books. The Lord revealed himself to me in such amazing ways almost everyday that I'm completely blown away.. really no words can describe what I've experienced but I'm going to try.

If you are struggling and are facing difficult circumstances; I want to encourage you to put your faith and trust in the Lord.

Truly seek him and cry out to him for help.

 

I pray constantly. Through tears, frustration, excitement,  doubts,happiness anxiety, fear, - you name it. As hard as things get- nothing stops me from praying. At times, it's the only thing I have. Just this week I started facilitating a bible study through Love God Greatly and what do ya know it's on prayer. So having these experiences this last week just made me hunger for tapping in to the power of prayer and really going to battle- not out of desperation and hopelessness but of Power and hope.

Don't for a moment think that God is ignoring you in your time of need; cause at just the right time he will show up and reveal himself to you in an awe- inspiring way- just to blow your mind!! So hang in there- this too shall pass and the Lord's glory will be revealed.

 

 

 

So about a week after Christmas I got sick with the common cold; Cough, runny stuffy nose and stomach ache.

Whenever I get sick, the m.s flares up in a bad way.

I dealt with extreme fatigue, weakness and bouts of paralysis that would come and go. I couldn't do anything for myself. It was beyond frustrating and discouraging and I was losing heart- I began to lose HOPE.

Days leading up to this I had been working on trying to build my upper body strength knowing my Tek-RMD is on the way and I was making some small but significant gains and now here I was paralyzed.

In these moments, utter defeat crept in and I started believing the lies the enemy was telling me. That maybe I wasn't meant to get better or stronger, maybe Adam should just put me in a home cause all I am is a burden to him and my children. 

 

I didn't even know who I was anymore, where is my identity- who am I as a woman, a wife, a mother?

The thoughts that crossed my mind were just terrible. So believe me when I say I was defeated. For days, I cried- wondering why the Lord was allowing all this right when I had something to fight for- something tangible that brought me hope. It was a rough couple of days to say the least.

Thankfully, last Monday, Jan. 4th, I finally came out of the paralysis. I praised the Lord for his mercies.

 

But still, I was feeling defeated.

So I layed it all at His feet as I cried out to Him.

Lord, fill me with your hope. I'm defeated and crushed by my circumstances. Help me in my time of need.  My body is weak and I need your strength. I'm feeling hopeless and I know that you are too good to leave me here so move in my life and circumstances- I need something to hope for. I believe in your promises and know you are working but waiting for them to come to fruition is hard. So, PLEASE Lord help me to find hope in the waiting. Reveal yourself to me.

That morning, I was on Fb and my memories tab came up showing me all my previous posts from that day. Well there was one that really spoke to my heart about Finding the presence of the Lord in our everyday life and it referenced Luke ch  2. 

My family and I were reading the book of Luke and had just read ch 2 the night before.  I was in awe of the way the Lord was showing me through His word to put my trust in him. That he will be faithful to fulfill his promises to me just like he did to Simeon and Anna. 

Totally an answer to prayer. :) Lord I trust that you will fulfill your promises-I hear you. Once again though- help me to find hope in the waiting.

The next morning as I was driving in my car I was listening to my favorite cd " Lincoln Brewster: Oxygen" and the first song on his cd always gets me pumped and excited about the Lord. As I was singing along- I totally had an Aha. Moment.

Here I had been praying to the Lord for His strength and the words that were coming out of my mouth as I sang "The Joy of the Lord Is our strength." Hit me hard.

 

 

So I came home and looked up - the joy of the Lord Is our strength-and the first thing that came up was this study in Nehemiah ch 8 & 9. Truly every word ministered to my heart. I was weak and didn't have any strength because I was not placing my joy in the Lord. I was joyless.

 

Another answer to prayer.

The next morning, I was still struggling with my emotions a little bit; But, I was excited for my day as I had a bible study to go to with awesome women; which was totally another answer to prayer.

I had been asking the Lord to open the doors for me to be in fellowship with other moms in the day while the Kids are in school. 

Well, my friend posted on fb about this amazing group of women she meets with for bible studies Wednesday mornings called City moms.

Um yes please!!

 

So I was excited to go that day as it was only my second time going and I couldn't wait. I knew the Lord had some "divine appointments" up his sleeve.

Right when I got there,  I met this beautiful woman named Nicole and we hit it off right off the bat. I shared my heart with her about what's been going on and how I'm just struggling to find hope as I wait upon the Lord to fulfill his promises. We had an amazing encounter and she encouraged me that God was just refining me through the fire and when I have been tested I will come out beautiful on the other side of this.

 

 

Hmm. That sounds familiar. The Lord had told me this already once or twice before...

Then, just before we were to begin, Brooke our facilitator came up to me and said she was thinking about me and the Lord placed me on her heart to ask if I would be interested in giving a talk in a few months about HOPE

We had become friends on FB and she said she looked through my page a bit and felt led to ask me cause she felt I was an inspiration and could share my story with others to find  hope.

Oh my word. Really hope? Totally something I've been struggling with. But, I know how God operates. He uses our weaknesses to let his glory shine. I was very humbled that she asked me and I gladly accepted. I mean I had a few months to study and gather my thoughts right?

Well it was a beautiful morning and when I got home, I wanted more of God so I decided to jump on k2 to catch up on some sermons that I missed since I hadn't been to church for a few weeks due to sickness.

I seriously couldn't believe it- but the series that I had missed was all on HOPE!!

The first one I watched was called Hope in the waiting.

Can you even believe it????? Unreal right?!!!

Well the Lord ministered to  my broken spirit in a HUGE way- so for the rest of the day I watched all the sermons on hope and took lots and lots of notes cause the Lord was speaking loud and clear-giving me everything I needed to find hope and to share it with others.  This whole experience was life changing.

I realized I lost hope because I was putting my hope in everything but Jesus.

My hope was circumstantial.

When everything was going good and in my favor- (getting stronger, the Tek is coming) my hope was strong. But when the odds were stacked against me ( paralyzed, weak, needing help)  my hope was lost.

I had another Aha moment. I realized that my only hope is found in Jesus and no matter what I'm facing I need to keep my eyes fixed on him.

Just like Peter walking on water- he was fine until he let fear and anxiety about his circumstances enter his heart and he took his eyes off of Jesus and began to sink.

 

 

 

The very next morning I got an email from Innovation health telling me my Tek-RMD is here and they will be bringing it out to me next week. Wow!!!!! The Lord knew I needed this good news and it was just one more way the Lord was lavishing me with His love.

I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for the way the Lord answered my prayers and was showing me exactly how to find hope!

I've been on an emotional roller coaster and have been for a very long time. Going up and down, round and round all because my hope and my joy have not been anchored in Christ. Always circumstantial.

For about the past 6 months I've been really doing some soul searching trying to find anything I can cling to, to give Me hope. 

You see, now that things have slowed down a bit in our lives as far as all the medical chaos- (most of you know what we've been through these last couple years) reality is setting in and my husband and I are going through the grieving process. 

We are both mourning the loss of the life we had dreamed of living together and we are processing the emotions of it in our own way- which we are not always understanding of each other. 

I have good days .. Wait, let me rephrase that GREAT days when all I focus on is Jesus. But, the second I take my eyes off Him and start looking at my life and start comparing it to others; even for a moment; the waves of sadness, depression and guilt come crashing in. 

This summer, I did a study that really had a lasting impression on me and after having these Aha moments last week; I've been reflecting back on some questions that are still ringing in my soul.

What are you pursuing right now? What has your attention?

Although, our situation is hard and the emotions we are feeling are understandable and we could totally try to justify our sadness. 

I'm realizing that the reason it is that much harder to accept is because I have totally been focusing on the things I'm not and all the loss in my life rather than on all the goodness that has come through this and who I truly am in Christ. 

I'm pursuing my own happiness and comfort rather than pursuing Gods divine plan and therefore, my attention is focused inward instead of upward. 

Oh, Lord that you would "turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways."

How many of you saw the movie Inside out? Well this movie really had an impact on me cause this film puts a positive spin on sadness.

 

That sometimes it's only through our sadness that we can truly understand what joy is. Through sadness, we come to the end of ourselves and start digging to find answers. So I've questioned so many times why Lord... and now I'm beginning to understand.

 

I just love the memories feature on fb, as it seems the Lord prompted me to post it then knowing I would read it now and it be exactly what I needed to hear this day. This happen on three separate occasions last week. But I want to share this one with you cause it's full of promises for you and for me.

This post is from Jan. 9, 2011 from my devotional Jesus calling.

"I am able to do far beyond all that you ask or imagine. Come to me with positive expectations, knowing that there is no limit to what I can accomplish. Ask My Spirit to control your mind so that you can think great thoughts of Me. Do not be discouraged by the fact that many of your prayers

are yet unanswered. Time is a trainer, teaching you to wait upon Me, to trust Me in the dark. The more extreme your circumstances, the more likely you are to see My Power and Glory at work in the situation. Instead of letting difficulties draw you into worrying, try to view them as setting the scene for My glorious intervention.Keep your eyes and your mind wide open to all that I am doing in your life.

Ephes 3:20-21 " Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen."

Father God, fill me with a hunger and thirst for You and Your Word. Remove anything that distracts my focus and attention away from You. Reshape and refocus my dreams, my plans, my hopes and my desires so that they align with Yours. When I resist, root in me Your promise that Your thoughts and ways are higher than my own, and Your desire for me is more than I could ever dream or imagine and I find my hope in you and you alone. In Jesus’ name. Amen.